There’s an old saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I don’t know what jabroni first said this, but it’s not bad. It might even be some really good advice!
And it’s also the phrase that popped into my head when, after unloading equipment for the beer tent at Itasca Pride this past weekend, a lady came up to me and asked if we were serving beer at the event. I enthusiastically said yes, and she responded, “So you agree with these ding-dings?”
I stared in disbelief for a second before saying, “Get outta here, lady.” I definitely had some more choice words to share, but unlike her, I decided to keep it nice. I carried on, thought about how she didn’t even manage to get her insult right (since when is it not ding-dongs??), and finished setting up the beer garden for what turned out to be an amazing first ever pride event in Itasca County!
It’s no secret that there were some protesters at the event, but much like that first little interaction that I had, they didn’t amount to much. They were outnumbered easily 100 to 1, and they reiterated the need for pride events since they proved that there are still people out there who would go to great lengths to deny the humanity of many of us. That being said, it was an amazing day filled with good food, great music, fabulous drag performances, and, of course, a more than decent pint of beer. The lawn and street outside Old Central School was decked out with rainbows and vendors galore, selling all manner of goods and otherwise just being supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. Various news outlets showed up to document the huge crowds as they cheered and danced. And as another old saying goes, a good time was had by all.
With luck, next year will be even bigger! And to the organizers, we tip our chapeau to you.
Speaking of chapeaus, Klockow Brewing Company has just released our latest bout of swag! These killer hats come complete with decorative laces that double as a chin strap for those particularly windy days. And for added whimsy, each one has a secret pocket on the inside for stashing an emergency Benjamin or what have you.
And for the low price of just a quarter of a Benjamin ($25), one can be yours!
Once you have your fashionable hat, you might be asking yourself where you might want to wear it out? Well, have we got the event for you! This Sunday sees the return of our monthly Open Mic with Ditty Wish! It’s been a couple months, what with it being canceled last month for the Panopticon concert. This popular monthly bacchanalia has long brought out some of the finest amateur musicians in the area, as well as a few poets and aspiring standup comics. And what’s more, it’s all first come, first serve. Perhaps you have been harboring a dream of getting up on stage and wowing an eager audience with your vocal prowess. Well, this is your chance! Or you can just show up, grab a pint, and be part of the eager audience. Either way, everyone always seems to have a good time at Klockow and Ditty Wish’s Open Mic.
We Barley Know You, But We Hop to Change That. It’s the Yeast We Can Do: Jamie Beer
Question: How long have you worked here?
Jamie Beer: Klocktoberfest, 2019!
Q: And in all that time, what is your favorite Klockow beer?
JB: Münchkin, which you can only get in September. Well, it comes out then. But yeah, our Oktoberfest is definitely my favorite, otherwise Raspberry Sour (Mlinar Delight) is my second fav. Well, and Superior Lobe (Hefeweizen). But Münchkin is 100% my favorite.
Q: When you’re not drinking Klockow beer, what do you like to drink?
JB: Truly! Truly berry pack. I’m a seltzer girl at home. Or water. But mostly Trulys.
Q: Which is alcoholic water.
JB: Yes! Keeps you hydrated!
Q: What are some of your favorite foods that you like to use Truly to wash down?
JB: Tacos. I love tacos. Um, I don’t know, I feel like I’m kinda boring.
Q: So are you a regular at the (Singing Chihuahua) taco truck?
JB: Yes, we work that into our schedule, every Wednesday and Saturday in the summer. Let’s see, what else do I eat? I like meatloaf! I love meatloaf.
Q: Ok, that seems like a unique answer. What is it about meatloaf that you like?
JB: I don’t know. Well, it’s comforting. And I don’t think I make the same recipe twice. Like it’s just something I can just mess around with: put different spices, different things in there.
Q: That’s a very fair answer. More people should say meatloaf. But to bring it back here, what do you do at the brewery?
JB: I pour beer and talk about books.
Q: Are you full time?
JB: No, I’m the Monday girl in the summers. During the school year, I’m a special ed para. When school goes back in, the winter hours start, so they close Monday. And when school lets out, I come back on Mondays and hang out and talk about books. [laughs]
Q: So when you’re not a para at school or pouring beer here, what do you do for fun?
JB: Read books. [laughs] And I pretend to be a runner; I dabble. I like to hang out with my chickens. And I like to go camping.
Q: First thing you said was books, and you also said you like to talk about books. What are some of the books that you like to read?
JB: I’m smut girl. [laughs] I like dirty romance. Yeah, definitely romance. I dabble in thrillers, but I’m definitely a romance reader. Chef Kyle (Lussier) really wants me to read “East of Eden.” It’s on my shelf, but I feel like that’s above my pay grade. Some day I will get there.
Q: What’s a fun/interesting fact about yourself?
JB: Augh, this was the one I was struggling with. Fun slash interesting? I don’t know what to say, like, I’m originally from Detroit? Umm… I really like Coney dogs! So in my hometown of Rochester Hills, Michigan, there’s a Coney Island called Lipuma’s. And whenever I go back to visit, that’s either the first place I eat at or the last place I eat at before I come home.
Q: For anyone who might not know, what makes a Coney dog a Coney dog?
JB: Chili sauce. No beans. Mustard only. And onions. Delicious. Ahh, I love it. And chili cheese fries.
Q: Lastly, if you were stranded on Mars, alone, with all the things you’d need to survive, what (1) musical album would you want to have with you, what (2) book would want to have with you, and what (3) utensil/tool would you want to have with you?
JB: It would probably be Adele. I don’t have a favorite though.
Q: Any Adele album. And what book?
JB: “The Great Alone,” by Kristin Hannah.
Q: I thought you were gonna say “East of Eden.” [laughs]
JB: Hahaha… like finally!
Q: And what tool or utensil?
JB: [thoughtful pause] Q-Tips. Yes, Q-Tips. I like Q-Tips. I don’t leave the house without a thing of travel Q-Tips with me. They’re in my car. So yeah, Q-Tips.
~
Thanks for checking out our humble little brewery! As long as you keep coming by, we’ll do our part by making the best damn beer possible and serving it in our always inviting atmosphere.
The Klockow Staff
Beer and Shrubbery Drops this Week:
Local, Etc -
Sugar Lake Lodge - Cohasset
Locker Room - Coleraine
MJ’s - Pengilly
Gosh Dam Place - Deer River
S&S Bottle Shop - Deer River
Rocket’s - Cohasset
38 Outpost - Grand Rapids
Great Outdoors - Pengilly
Smoke on the Water - Coleraine
Boulder Taphouse - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Foods South - Grand Rapids
Pokegama Grill - Grand Rapids
Pokegama Plaza Liquors - Grand Rapids
Sammy’s - Grand Rapids
Hotel Rapids - Grand Rapids
Bottles & Brews - La Prairie
Frontier Liquors - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Liquors - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Foods North - Grand Rapids
Bigfork and Marcell -
Timberwolf Inn - Marcell
North Star Lake Resort - Marcell
Frontier Sports - Marcell
Greater Range -
Burnt Onion - Biwabik
SuperOne Liquor - Virginia
KM Corner Store - Nashwauk
SuperOne Liquor - Hibbing
SuperOne Foods - Hibbing
Keyboard - Chisholm
Ely -
Mike’s Drive In Liquor
Ely Liquor
Boathouse Brewery
Insula
Stinky Pete’s Tiny Weed Shop