It’s one of those days where everything is perfect. The weather? Gorgeous. The hangover? Nonexistent. The people? Not annoying. The beer? Wanted.
Now this is not just an accurate statement. Longtime brewer here at Klockow Brewing Company, Max Chamberlain, is having a hellava month! Not only this his last month here before moving on to greener pastures, but next week is the release of his signature IPA: Wanted Red IPA.
This pirate themed label has a few easter eggs, plus at least one reference to One Piece (the D prior to IPA doesn’t mean Double. You’re gonna have to ask Max about that, unless you too are a fan of the series).
It’s not out yet, but a few of us have had the privilege of giving it a little taste ahead of the formal release. It has a strong spruce note that hits you first, then a nice balance of earthy and caramel smells, until it brings it all back with that spruce again. Being an IPA, there’s a strong tannic bitterness on the palate right up front, but it gives way to a smooth, dare I say sweetness, before finishing with (say it with me now) the spruce note. And all of this is after you’ve had the joy of seeing it! Gotta hand it to those Red IPAs and their beautiful umber coloring. We recommend drinking it, but hell, it’s awfully satisfying just looking at.
It’s just too bad that it wasn’t around this past weekend. Could’ve been a good beer for the Biking for Beer pub crawl! A special thanks to everyone who was a part of the ride on Saturday, all nearly two dozen of you! Which that seemed like an impressive number given the fact that we started things out with rain! It didn’t last long though, and it all happened while starting things out with a pint at Rapids Brewing Company, so the timing was just fine. People of all ages on all manners of different styles of bikes then took off across the wet bridge over the Mississippi River and through the woods over to Klockow, where we had more beer and a couple tacos even! Then the big ride: south through town and past the farms for more than five miles to the Pickled Loon Saloon, where we were greeted like honored guests while we had even more beer and not a little bit of cold water too. Replenished and rehydrated, we tackled the hill right outside the saloon to bring us back into town (the people on single speed bikes only complained a little), back to Klockow where we gave away fabulous prizes generously donated by Ardent Bicycles!
We were constantly asked when we were going to do this again. So that probably means we should do this again, I suppose. Stay tuned for more information on upcoming biking shenanigans!
If you haven’t noticed, we’re not like other bars. There’s a good reason for that, namely, that we’re not a bar! If that’s confusing to you, allow me to explain. It starts with the fact that in the eyes of the state of Minnesota, not all breweries are created equal. It distinguishes between “breweries” and “brewpubs.” Our friends at Rapids Brewing Company, they are a brewpub, which means the state sees them as a restaurant that happens to brew its own beer. Licensing to do so allows them to make as much beer as they can sell onsite, as well as to have a kitchen and a full bar. You know, restaurant stuff. But they can’t distribute. You will not find RBC beer in liquor stores or on tap at other bars for this reason (unless they take advantage of a loophole where they brew one of their beers through an offsite contractor, but we’re not getting into that now).
Klockow Brewing Company, on the other hand, is a brewery. We’re a commercial facility with the sole purpose of manufacturing craft beverages, with the intention of selling a large percentage of said product to restaurants and distributing it to consumers throughout the state via various liquor stores. In addition to that, we are also able to have a taproom, where we can sell our beer directly to you, straight across the wall from whence it was made!
That’s the long answer. In short, we’re a taproom, not a bar. So let’s go over what that actually means!
* We’re dog friendly! Not all brewery taprooms allow dogs, but that is largely their prerogative. According to the state, since we don’t prepare and serve food, there is no real reason to not allow dogs. And we love them, so bring on the pretty pooches! We only require that they be well-behaved and on a leash.
* We’re family friendly! Being a wide open space with no servers (it’s pretty common for taprooms to just have beertenders with no table service), a lot of people like to host larger gatherings here and this often means kids. We even have games for them to play! But similar to above, we just ask that kids be well-behaved and on a leash. Ok, maybe not that far! In seriousness, we simply ask that you be mindful of your children so that they’re not disruptive to other guests.
* You can bring in outside food! This is why food trucks and breweries go hand-in-hand. Since we don’t serve food, you can think of the taproom as a privately-owned public space where you can bring your own picnic. Only catch: you can’t bring in outside alcohol. Legally the only alcohol that can be consumed onsite is what we make. Which brings us to…
* We only serve beer! Or malt beverages (looking at you, hard selzer). This is a big one for those who confuse us for a traditional pub. A gentleman over the weekend casually approached the bar ordered a beer for himself and an Amaretto Sour for his partner. As delicious as that sounds, I had to give the short spiel about how we’re just a taproom. But it worked out, somewhat at least… we do carry an assortment of craft pops and kombucha, so we do what we can to cater to a wide audience. Those things just don’t have alcohol, is all.
In basically all other ways that are meaningful to our guests, yeah, we’re essentially a bar. But if you were ever curious as to why we don’t have a kitchen, or why you never see RBC beer at liquor stores, or why that pedantic fellow at the table next to you made a big deal about this being called a BREWERY and not a BREWPUB, now you know.
We Barley Know You, But We Hop to Change That. It’s the Yeast We Can Do: the Klockow Canning Machine
Question: We’re here talking with the Klockow Canning Machine. I hear you buzzing right now.
Klockow Canning Machine: Sure am. I am working hard today.
Q: Speaking of that, how long have you worked here?
KCM: I started during the pandemic, in 2 aught 20.
Q: Excellent. And in all that time, what is your favorite Klockow beer?
KCM: I do not drink much beer. I just like to spill it.
Q: Do you have a favorite to spill?
KCM: THC seltzers make me feel funny.
Q: When you’re not canning Klockow beer, are you canning anything else?
KCM: I try not to. I am loyal to Klockow.
Q: That’s very good of you. What are some of your favorite foods?
KCM: Ooh, I like aluminum. Especially aluminum lined with epoxy and bpani. Oooh, that is the good stuff.
Q: So what do you do here at the brewery?
KCM: I am a work horse. I make sure the beer gets put in cans, sealed in cans, make sure the cans are not leaking… but I do not care if the cans are leaking. That is up to the owners.
Q: What do you like to do for fun?
KCM: I buzz with anticipation whenever a canning run comes along. Just makes me so… [makes horrible buzzing sound]… makes me sooo happy.
Q: You seem to have a very one-track mind. You only ever do work. So what is some other fun/interesting fact about yourself?
KCM: Well they named me after the head brewer, who is leaving, Max. But I am spelled different: MACS, which means Micro Automated Canning System.
I am the better MACS, because I will never leave.
Q: I’m sensing something here, MACS. Do you have something against people you perceive to be disloyal?
KCM: I do not care who is pushing my buttons, but it is special when Max does.
Q: Ok, last question. If you could be a real boy, what kind of job would you want to have?
KCM: I would love to be a packaging line operator, so that I can be on the other side of the coin. Or a beat boxer.
Q: Well, MACS, you’re a good machine. Except when you’re not. Thank you for hanging out with us today.
KCM: You’re welcome.
~
Thanks for checking out our humble little brewery! As long as you keep coming by, we’ll do our part by making the best damn beer possible and serving it in our always inviting atmosphere.
The Klockow Staff
Beer and Shrubbery Drops this Week:
Local, Etc. -
Ravenstone - Coleraine
Sugar Lake Lodge - Cohasset
Pokegama Plaza Liquor - Grand Rapids
Pokegama Grill - Grand Rapids
38 Outpost - Grand Rapids
Smoke on the Water - Coleraine
Locker Room - Coleraine
Cedar Creak - Grand Rapids
Boulder Taphouse - Grand Rapids
Sammy’s - Grand Rapids
Hotel Rapids - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Foods North - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Foods South - Grand Rapids
Bottles & Brews - La Prairie
Dutch Room - Grand Rapids
SuperOne Liquor - Grand Rapids
Frontier Liquor - Grand Rapids
Cities & Surrounding Areas -
Stinson Wine, Beer, & Spirits - Minneapolis
Princeton’s - Bass Lake
Isanti Municipal Liquor
Vintage Pub - Askov
Ombibulous - Minneapolis
St. Cloud Area -
Westside Liquor - Waite Park
Brainerd Lakes Area -
SuperOne Liquor - Baxter
SuperOne Liquor - Crosby
Westworld Area -
Red River Liquor Co. - Akeley
Liquor Depot of Staples
Dorest Corner - Park Rapids
Landmark Liquors - Perham
Brew Ales & Eats - Perham
The Bottle Shop - Moorhead
Duluth -
The New Scenic Cafe